Robert believes the Sirius radio display in Michael’s car is some kind of cosmic message delivery system. Every time he gets in the car, the song title displayed has something to do with something to Robert.
At least, that’s how he sees it. He tried explaining it to me when Michael drove us all to Costco, the song title was “Sugar, We’re Going.” Though the word “down” was missing because it’s too long for the display, we were in fact going. I’ll give him that one. On the way back, the display read, “Bette Davis Eye” and the day before, Robert and I watched “The Anniversary.” That’s the movie where sometimes she’s British and wears a fancy eye patch, so she over compensates by wildly moving the other eye at completely inappropriate times. It also has the line “I want to be entertained. Get up and do something.” Awesome.
I didn’t think much of it and dismissed it as soon as we got out of the car. Robert and I had been arguing for a couple of days because I forget he has a bad memory and take things personally. He reacts by trying to remember what he forgot, and it’s taxing enough that his brain shuts down every process except trying to remember and eating chicken.
So if we were talking or watching something, he just shuts down and starts thinking. You can almost hear the sound of a cell door closing.
It wasn’t always like this, or maybe I just started to notice it. I don’t like feeling ignored or forgotten about and it got on my nerves enough that I decided to start an argument about it the day before the Costco trip.
The argument didn’t go well, mostly because I started an argument, not a conversation. Unfortunately, Robert doesn’t argue. He feels no need to defend himself and is very good at diffusing a conflict.
What I like about arguing is if you push enough buttons, the other person starts to back up and gets angry enough to lose. For me it’s all strategy. It’s so difficult for me to just tell someone what’s going on, that I have to put another person in a vulnerable position so I can be vulnerable.
Yeah, I know it’s fucked up. Don’t jump ahead.
I was telling Robert how I didn’t know if I could continue in this if he is going to be so dismissive. He said he couldn’t address how I feel with the threat of me walking away lingering, so he wasn’t going to consider that possibility in this conversation, and that walking away was my choice and he isn’t part of that decision.
I can honestly say it was a situation I have never been in before. Sitting there with no strategy and everything out in the open, and he wasn’t angry or defensive. The situation was completely not OK.
So I left.
I couldn’t believe how I poorly I handled myself, so I went home to clean and try and control something. I found a Netflix DVD I needed to return and before I put it with my wallet to take it with me, I noticed it was “The Invisible.” It was a little odd, considering that was what I was just attempting to convey to Robert, but not a big deal.
Riding in Michael’s car to Costco with Robert talking about the signs coming from the radio, I made a mental note to return “The Invisible.”
And I really should return “Let’s Go To Prison”
B
At least, that’s how he sees it. He tried explaining it to me when Michael drove us all to Costco, the song title was “Sugar, We’re Going.” Though the word “down” was missing because it’s too long for the display, we were in fact going. I’ll give him that one. On the way back, the display read, “Bette Davis Eye” and the day before, Robert and I watched “The Anniversary.” That’s the movie where sometimes she’s British and wears a fancy eye patch, so she over compensates by wildly moving the other eye at completely inappropriate times. It also has the line “I want to be entertained. Get up and do something.” Awesome.
I didn’t think much of it and dismissed it as soon as we got out of the car. Robert and I had been arguing for a couple of days because I forget he has a bad memory and take things personally. He reacts by trying to remember what he forgot, and it’s taxing enough that his brain shuts down every process except trying to remember and eating chicken.
So if we were talking or watching something, he just shuts down and starts thinking. You can almost hear the sound of a cell door closing.
It wasn’t always like this, or maybe I just started to notice it. I don’t like feeling ignored or forgotten about and it got on my nerves enough that I decided to start an argument about it the day before the Costco trip.
The argument didn’t go well, mostly because I started an argument, not a conversation. Unfortunately, Robert doesn’t argue. He feels no need to defend himself and is very good at diffusing a conflict.
What I like about arguing is if you push enough buttons, the other person starts to back up and gets angry enough to lose. For me it’s all strategy. It’s so difficult for me to just tell someone what’s going on, that I have to put another person in a vulnerable position so I can be vulnerable.
Yeah, I know it’s fucked up. Don’t jump ahead.
I was telling Robert how I didn’t know if I could continue in this if he is going to be so dismissive. He said he couldn’t address how I feel with the threat of me walking away lingering, so he wasn’t going to consider that possibility in this conversation, and that walking away was my choice and he isn’t part of that decision.
I can honestly say it was a situation I have never been in before. Sitting there with no strategy and everything out in the open, and he wasn’t angry or defensive. The situation was completely not OK.
So I left.
I couldn’t believe how I poorly I handled myself, so I went home to clean and try and control something. I found a Netflix DVD I needed to return and before I put it with my wallet to take it with me, I noticed it was “The Invisible.” It was a little odd, considering that was what I was just attempting to convey to Robert, but not a big deal.
Riding in Michael’s car to Costco with Robert talking about the signs coming from the radio, I made a mental note to return “The Invisible.”
And I really should return “Let’s Go To Prison”
B
